Over a year ago.

It is December, 2006.

I remember that I hadn't been feeling well. Sick, and worn down. I am almost a year sober at this stage of the game. Living with Sarah at the farm house, and enjoying our time together. I am working at this point at the coffee shop, and it is taking its toll. I love the work but early mornings and too much caffeine are the normal.

I wake in the middle of the night, go to the bathroom. The bathroom door is two feet from our bedroom door. I go in, use the toilet and splash water on my face. The light above the sink flashes at me and goes out, I play with the light until it comes back on. It sparks a couple times, flickers and comes back on. The switch is faulty, maybe I can fix it sometime. The thought I always have about that light switch.

As I am standing there I remember a headache forming in the back of my head, by my neck. The pain is radiating deeply in my brain and I feel as though my head is going to explode.

Flick, flick... Dark.

I feel dizzy now, as if the whole world is far away. I reach up and turn on the light again, but my hands are shaking so bad that I can't get the light to come back on. My hands have done this since I got sober, must be some of the after effects of drinking so much.

Light... Dark... Light... More dizzy...

I go to the toilet and throw up, on my knees. I walk back through the hall, and before I get to the door, I loose control of my legs, scratching at the door I fall.

Sarah, hears this and it wakes her, she walks out in the hall to find me on the floor in what I would assume the fetal position fast asleep. I wake, and get up. I explain to her that I am so sick, that something is wrong. My hands are shaking uncontrollably. She asks me if I need to go to the hospital and I agree. I hate doctors, they never fix anything.

I remember the car ride to the ER, I remember shaking, my whole body. I remember thinking that if I could just have some fruit it might calm the shakes, I am incorrectly assuming that I am diabetic.

We get to the hospital and they scan my chest. I have pneumonia, and very low levels of potassium in my blood. After four hours or so with an IV the give me a script for Potassium pills and an anti-biotic. They advise me to follow up, I never follow up on anything.

The low levels of potassium I equate to the coffee I drink all day. The fainting spell I equate to the Pneumonia. Case closed, I am ok. In a few days the anti-biotic rids me of the pneumonia, and I start feeling better. Need to cut back on the coffee, I tell myself. I never cut back on it.